Conflict is inevitable in the workplace as well as in relationships. You can have disagreements and even argue while still showing compassion and respect for each other.
While you can try and avoid conflict, you cannot escape conflict or arguments. Conflict in the workplace is unavoidable. Also, no healthy relationships can be considered totally free from disagreements. Although, frequent and intense conflicts are certainly not desirable or healthy, either. You can have arguments at the workplace or with your partner in a constructive way.
While arguments are natural, they can also be really productive with the right and healthy arguing techniques. You explore others' perspectives and gain crucial insights to understand each other better. Bottling up your emotions isn't a good thing to do, and their suppression can worsen interpersonal dynamics. It’s likely that your problems will build up and may lead to an even bigger argument.
9 Effective and Healthy Arguing Tips
Conflict is bad, but it also offers an opportunity for growth. It’s better to see arguments as a catalyst for positive change, rather than something to avoid. If you want to handle arguments with your partner or at the workplace in a healthier and more productive way, keep these suggestions in mind and implement them during your next argument.
1. Keep it Logical
Don’t let your emotions dominate the logic of the situation. When you argue, stress hormones increase and this phenomenon tends to make our reactions more emotional rather than logical. It affects your ability to communicate clearly and worsens the state of arguments. Be logical and stay focused on what's happened, it will save you from feeling upset and showcase impressive communication skills.
2. Come With an Open Mind
Avoid prejudice and don’t judge the argument before it has even started. Set aside your ego and determine what is the right and true side of the argument. Don’t hold grudges, come with an open mind and be willing to consider other perspectives. Listen to your opponents to understand the exact problem. This approach is one of the most effective healthy arguing techniques as it allows you to think rationally and pushes an argument towards a logical end.
3. Avoid Direct Blames
Avoid placing the blame on the other person during an argument. This move antagonises them and rather than resolving it worsens an issue. Instead of starting statements with 'You' and placing direct blame on your opponents, put the emphasis on how you feel about it. Arguments should not be given just to highlight a fault but to focus on what can be changed.
4. Make Requests Instead of Complaints
Conflicts often start with accusations. Rather than placing blame and making accusations about why they never do something, it’s better to simply request that they do it. This is direct and more respectful and one of the healthy arguing techniques. It’s also more likely to result in your opponent accomplishing the corresponding task.
5. Listen and Ask for Clarification
One of the most impressive communication skills is active listening. Sit down and talk about solving conflicts instead of making them more intense and heated. You should listen until your opponent is finished speaking. Seek clarification if there is something you don’t understand. Make sure you are holding eye contact and positioning your body toward them. Such small adjustments help you gain impressive communication skills and prevent countless conflicts from happening.
6. Determine if an Argument is Even Worth
While getting into tough conversations, you need to decide if a certain topic or matter is even worth it. Let the small things go, and if you cannot, ask yourself if the premises provide enough logical support for the conclusion. It will save you from getting into huge yet futile kind of hurtful conversations.
7. Take a Pause if Things Get Too Intense
Don’t be shy to call a time-out if your conversation gets too heated. It gives you a chance for you both to calm down and recollect yourselves. While in a time-out, do anything you can to push the argument out of your mind. Come back and re-engage when you both feel ready. You need to come back to talk through it to give it a rational end.
8. Reach a Resolution
Just because a conflict becomes heated or hurtful, don’t leave it abruptly. Even if a time-out does not solve the issue, don’t abandon it entirely. It will come up again in a more harsh way. When a conflict arises, the best way to end them is to resolve the disagreement. Always seek reasonable and logical ways to find a peaceful solution to a disagreement.
9. Apologise or Forgive as Required
If you find the fault was on your side all along, don't let pride stop you from doing the right thing, take a firm step towards making amends with the opponent by asking for an apology. In case, the other person is at fault and apologises to you, don’t feel riled up about the earlier comments they made and forgive them. This approach will help you build healthier relationships.
Arguments are undesirable yet inevitable. Whenever you come across any conflict, whether at the workplace or home, always seek the best healthy arguing techniques to reach a peaceful solution, while being rational to both sides. Value your relationships with the other person, over a win in a futile argument.
Do you communicate smartly or need help to enhance your communication skills? Take the Free Communication Skills Assessment to take the first step to speak with confidence.
Smita D Jain is a Certified Life Coach, Executive Coach and NLP Practitioner. Smita’s ‘Empower Yourself’ Performance Enhancement Coaching Programs enable introverted executives to speak with confidence and communicate with impact so that they emerge leaders sooner than envisaged.
Prior to her journey as a coach, Smita had extensive experience of 14 years as a corporate and business strategy professional with Fortune 500 companies. She is also a TEDx speaker, a panellist cum speaker at various public forums, a published writer, and an Amazon bestselling author.
You can learn more about Personal Empowerment Life Coach and Executive Coach Smita D Jain’s ‘Empower Yourself’ Coaching Programs by visiting www.lifecoachsmitadjain.com and book a strategy session at https://www.lifecoachsmitadjain.com/booking.
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