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7 Powerful Tips to Build Assertiveness and Express Yourself with Confidence

Updated: Sep 15, 2023

Assertiveness can help you manage stress and anger by improving your coping skills. Recognize and learn assertive behavior and communication to express yourself effectively.


Do you often find it tough to get your opinions or ideas heard? Do you lack the confidence to speak up and express yourself? Do you often find that people dismiss or undermine your views too quickly? Do you feel you have a habit of handling situations aggressively or too passively?

By learning how to be more assertive, you can stand up for yourself, express your views comprehensively and confidently, and become a respected communicator. Assertiveness empowers you to better manage yourself, people, and situations. Being assertive is a core communication skill that boosts your self-esteem and earns others' respect.

Benefits of Being Assertive

Assertiveness skills offer many benefits. It is viewed as a healthier communication style and helps you keep people from taking advantage of you.

Here are some incredible benefits you can gain by behaving assertively:

  1. Improved self-confidence and self-esteem

  2. Gain a sense of empowerment

  3. Improved communication

  4. Leave a long-lasting impression

  5. Improved decision-making skills

  6. Earn respect from others

  7. Create win-win situations

  8. Create honest relationships

  9. Gain more job satisfaction

  10. Understand and handle your feelings

Components of Assertive Behavior

Assertiveness skills include encouraging others to be open and honest about their views, and feelings along with yours so that both parties act appropriately.

  1. Being able to express wishes, thoughts, and feelings with clarity.

  2. Attaining self-control and behaving as an equal to others.

  3. Encouraging others to share their feelings and thoughts.

  4. Listening to the views of others (even if they are contradictory to your own) and responding appropriately.

  5. Accepting responsibilities and being able to delegate them to others

  6. Regularly expressing appreciation and gratitude for others for what they have done.

7 Brilliant Tips to Develop Assertiveness

Learning to be more assertive can help you effectively present your views and feelings when communicating with others about your thoughts. Here are some tips to help you become more assertive and communicate in healthier and more effective ways.

1. Know Your Value and Your Rights

To be assertive, you need to have a good understanding of yourself. Identify your values and develop a strong belief in them. This self-belief is the core of self-confidence and assertive behaviour and empowers you to convey your value to your organization and team. When you stand up for your values, and rights and protect your boundaries, you convey to others that you deserve to be treated with dignity and respect.

2. Voice Your Needs and Wants Confidently

If you want to achieve your full potential, you need to make sure that your priorities, needs, and wants are met. Take the initiative to identify the things that you want and don't wait for someone else to recognize them for you. Set realistic goals according to your needs so that you can achieve them. Convey to your team and managers strongly that you are going to pursue those goals. Meanwhile, avoid sacrificing others' needs, as it may damage your relationship.

3. Realise That You Can't Control Other People's Behavior

Remember that you can only control yourself and your own behaviour, so don't make the mistake of accepting responsibility for how people react to your assertive behaviour. They may get angry or harsh towards you, but you need to do your best to stay calm and act appropriately if things tense. If you are not violating someone else's needs, you have the right to stay on track to get what you want.

4. Know When to Speak Up

Lack of self-confidence, fear and anxiety often tempt us to stay silent. Self-confidence develops with knowing when to stand up or speak up for yourself. Determine the circumstances and decide whether this is the right time to speak up about something or not. Answer those who ask with gentleness and respect to avoid ambiguity and keep a clear flow of communication.

5. Be Open to Criticism and Compliments

Feedback is a wonderful instrument that guides us towards bettering ourselves. Accept both positive and negative feedback humbly and positively. If you don't agree with certain criticism that you receive, then convey your concerns without getting defensive or angry. Control your emotional reactions and take such feedback as an opportunity to achieve something significant and make a positive change in your life. 6. Learn to Say "No" at Right Time

Saying "no" is tough, but it's vital if you want to become more assertive. Knowing your own limits and how much work you are able to manage effectively is crucial for long-term success and well-being. It helps you improve your work-life integration. Saying no at appropriate times also saves you from being taken advantage of.

7. Reduce and Remove Negative Self-Talk

You need to replace negative self-talk with assertiveness. Identify unhelpful thoughts and consider replacing them with ones more conducive to assertiveness. It’s crucial to overcome negative self-talk and use our time and energy effectively to do what makes us happy. This approach strengthens your self-confidence and supports assertiveness skills.

Being assertive means finding the right balance between assertive behaviour and aggression (angry or hostile behaviour). It likely won't happen overnight, but by practising these techniques regularly, you will build up the required confidence and self-belief to become assertive. Add assertive behaviours to your personality to become more productive, efficient and respected.

Do you communicate smartly or need help to enhance your communication skills? Take the Free Communication Skills Assessment to take the first step to speak with confidence.

Smita D Jain is a Certified Life Coach, Executive Coach, and NLP Practitioner. Smita’s ‘Empower Yourself’ Performance Enhancement Coaching Programs enable introverted executives to speak with confidence and communicate with impact so that they emerge leaders sooner than envisaged.

Prior to her journey as a coach, Smita had extensive experience 14 years as a corporate and business strategy professional with Fortune 500 companies. She is also a TEDx speaker, a panelist cum speaker at various public forums, a published writer, and an Amazon bestselling author.

You can learn more about Personal Empowerment Life Coach and Executive Coach Smita D Jain’s ‘Empower Yourself’ Coaching Programs by visiting and book a strategy session at

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